I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
