I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
