i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished�
I need moral support for this bender
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Randomize
