True but thats because hes a fetus.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Randomize