Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
