What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
