So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
That's how pantless uber rides happen
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
