I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
