Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
My dick has a subreddit
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Randomize
