Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
