The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
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