I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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