Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
God I need to hump something, right now.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
