Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize
