Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
