Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
