I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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