I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
