okay pat passed out under dana's car
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I understand Curling. That high.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
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