Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize