I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
