Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
