he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
