Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize
