Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Randomize
