I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
He felt like a one man threesome
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
It's blow job season.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
