That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
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