I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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