Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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