Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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