Pregnant stripper...not hot.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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