you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
