Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
