I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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