I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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