After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
