no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
