You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
