so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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