I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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