I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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