i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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