No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
