My brain says no but my pants say off.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
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