wrigley field is MILF paradise
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
