Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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