I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
