A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
