I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
