I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize
