She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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