What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
