u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
