Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
literally had 100 drinks last night.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
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