Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
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