He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
